Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
