I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
