WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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