You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize