Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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