JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
