I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
