It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
