how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
