you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
