its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So much rum. So many feels.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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