That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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