I need help removing her.
i think i have two assholes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
