You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
