He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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