ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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