she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
