I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
