i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize