The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
