good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i dont even know how to be here
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
