New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
