He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
