How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
