i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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