Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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