I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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