fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
