THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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