Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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