i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
