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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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