yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize