i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
