White coat. Heels.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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