i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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