what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
please come you make the beer taste better
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
