Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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