guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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