I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize