mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
