when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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