he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
