Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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