She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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