Only a mothe r could love this liver
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize