Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
