Your mouth is God's brothel.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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