They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So much rum. So many feels.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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