Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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