Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
