You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize