That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
