I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
