butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
