forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Rumble strips road head = magical
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
