so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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