He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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