The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
