he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
