Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
